A Short Story
On New Year's Eve, I heard that a British friend of mine became engaged to be married. Normally I would be so happy for any friend getting engaged - it's such an amazing start to something - most likely beautiful. I should know, I have been engaged twice. Anyway, I should have been so happy for him. But there was one problem.The problem is that he started dating her only 3 months ago. I don't think that's long enough. They've only been away together for two weekend trips and besides that, they know very little about one another. Maybe I am just a spoiled sport, but I think it's crazy. At least it's an engagement and not a shotgun wedding - although I have just heard that they want to get hitched in July - seems a bit soon to me - gee, I hope the Bride finds a nice Maternity gown! I do know that both of them want kids more than anything. Even scarier that they don't know one another.
I think I would be ok if I knew he had really known her for at least 6 months. If it weren't for the fact that he was dating me as recently as 4 months ago, I wouldn't have thought about it so much I guess. Oh, don't get all surprised. He and I were never going to be more than good friends - we established that from the start. He doesn't read nearly enough for my liking and whenever I discussed anything more complicated than how to cut up a cauliflower, he would tip his head to one side like my Jack Russell does when I say 'Time for Walkies'. He just didn't 'get' me at all. He's a good guy though and a sweetie who would never hurt someone so I guess I will try to be supportive - and pray like hell that they come to their senses and date for a while longer.
I met him through an ex-pats website here. I've met a lot of people that way. Brussels is a small community and the ex-pats group is well integrated and people know people so it feels safe. My original dog walker was selected through the site. He's a lovely Filipino American who married a Belgian woman. He was looking for some extra cash and he felt right at home with us - my being American and - pal-ing around with my ex partner who was a Brit raised in Southern Africa. He became a great friend and I was sad when he and his wife moved back to the states. They are expecting a baby soon. A girl.
Speaking of babies. I went home to DC for the holidays and had a chance to have a party and invite all of my friends and their kids to my parent's house for a post Christmas get-together. I fell in love with their kids all over again. They are all so amazing and for the first time, one of them made me really want kids - that's never happened before. I guess I got broody, but for sure, I got a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach talking to one of my friends kids and I could totally feel the gut wrenching desire to be part of a little life like that - to make a little life like that. It's the first time ever. And as the days pass, it's sort of going away. But I don't think it will go away completely.
I keep thinking about how lovely those kids are. And then I remind myself that the parents are all lovely people who have taken the time to get to really know one another, learn from each other, grow together, experience, share, contemplate, argue, stretch the boundaries, forgive one another, comfort and support each other and love. They have worked on creating strong families where it's possible to have happy, healthy, nurtured children.
And there's 'the rub' my newly engaged friend - there are no short cuts
posted by Brussels Confidential @ 1:03 PM
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