Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Bring back Beppe

I was thinking about Eastenders on my morning walk with Bunny Dog. How in the world did Eastenders end up being on prime-time BBC1 4 weeknights and one whole Sunday afternoon EVERY week? It's insane. What about a few cooking shows? Gosh, even re-runs of cooking programs would be better than Eastenders every night. - And I was - until VERY recently - a huge Eastenders fan - believe me - I know what's going on and have been glued to it since 2000. So, if I can't stand it on 4 nights a week, how does anyone who doesn't like it deal with it?

We can get the digital and cable stations that have all of the other BBC channels over here, but it costs an arm and a leg. And for the 4 channels I would actually want: 2 cooking channels and 2 more BBC ones, it's a bit too steep to pay for 65 music and video channels, 41 B-movie and violent crime stations, and 23 women's network (crap girlie fiction romantic mini-series) useless channels.

Anyway, now I know how the British public feels about their nationally run television service and what a gyp it is.

Ya ya - OK - you're dying to know. Why the change of heart? Why am I no longer a major Eastenders fan? For starters: How dare they knock off Dennis - so cheap to have him stabbed in the square on New Year's eve - with Sharon all teary (surprise surprise)!!. Dennis was - to put it mildly - scrummy!!! Here's what you do - bring back Beppe di Marco. He was the hottest thing ever to grace Albert Square. Get rid of Phil the 'pill', please 'off' Julie and Gus - who are the worst actors 'evah' 'brov'. Bring back Mel, have her fall in love with Beppe and have him chasing Dawn Swann. Please put Sharon out of her (and our misery). Oi - Give Billy a wonderful, sweet, stupid, kind girlfriend who won't kick him around like the rest of the Mitchels and Albert square. Have Pat get in an accident involving her tacky-assed earrings prompting her to change her ways and throw them away. You know I'm right - 'inchya'?

So, I have had enough. Give me some re-runs of Rick Stein on the beach cooking langoustines in white wine and reciting Elizabeth David. How about some Nigella padding down to the fridge in the middle of the night to whip up a snack of triple layered chocolate spongecake with freshly grated, toasted, coconut while innocently sucking the frosting from her fingertips. Show me an hour of Keith Floyd swaying to and fro in the galley of a sailing yacht off the coast of South Africa - inhaling red wine between adding each ingredient. I would even watch Delia Smith show me how to boil and egg over Eastenders right now.

But, there's no cooking shows on just now - Master Chef should be on soon - god I hope it's not with the idiot hosts from last year. Alas, that's not for several weeks...

What shall I do?....

There's always The Vic

posted by Brussels Confidential @ 11:22 AM