Brussels Confidential

Happy Birthday Friend

Saturday night I went to a birthday party for a friend's 40th birthday. It was a great party and I was so happy I could be there. It means a lot for me to be there for special moments in his life because he was there for me at a time when I needed friends most.

Just after moving my whole world to Belgium 8 years ago - I was far away from home with no friends and I was extremely lonely. I had to travel all over Europe each week to see my customer sites and would get home at 11 or 12 on Friday evenings - or worse, be stuck at Heathrow Airport that late alone, tired and wondering what to do with myself - realising that no one cared. There was no one waiting for me. No one wondering why I was delayed. No one worried about me. I went for 2 months without touching another living soul with exception of shaking hands with colleagues or business associates. It's pretty damaging to one's soul. You really don't realise how important friends and family are until you are too far away from them to do anything about.

So, I made a pact with myself. I had to make myself go out and explore the city and try to meet people. I made myself go to the biggest meat-market pick-up joint in town just to feel like I was in a crowd. I went to O'Reillys. Within a short while a group of men came over to talk to me.

The first thing anyone said came from this man who would become my first friend in Belgium. This man told me that he liked my lipstick - and then asked if I wanted to go bungee jumping the next day. What a line!! I said no. I asked his name - the first and only question I had been able to ask - and he said 'Why so many questions?'. This was my introduction to Crazy Jan.

Jan decided that it was his responsibility to represent Belgium to me - this silly American girl - and to make sure I explored and got to know Belgium. Thus he embarked on an effort to expose me to a different aspect of Belgian life each weekend.

He took me to Ghent to drink Genever in quantities and flavour combinations that I would prefer to forget. I am pretty sure we looked at some churches and canals and art galleries, but couldn't tell you anything substantive about them. I do remember he took me to see the world's largest hanging basket of flowers - Yep. - I know, I know - you want the details of how to get there - booking a flight as you read this....

He took me kayaking on the Lesse and Meuse rivers near Dinant where he egged me in to tipping the boat over a waterfall - or three of them - with us in it. He encouraged me to steal a better kayak from other people while we were on one of many beer stops down the river run. He lost the keys to his car and set the alarm off which rang at top volume non-stop for 2 hours until his best friend drove all the way out to Dinant with an extra set of keys. He thought it was hilarious.

He took me for Moules near the Begiunage in Brugge and then bicycle riding in Zeebrugge where he insisted that we ride out to the cargo dock miles out the causeway to the cargo load in freezing wind. When we encountered a 10-foot chain link fence on the way out to the cargo load - which pretty clearly meant no trespassing - he insisted that I climb the fence - with my bicycle no less!!! We road out by these massive cargo ships that hold thousands of those cargo boxes like on 18-wheeler trucks. We drove around stacks of boxes waiting to be loaded (later learning that we had ridden around the one filled with immigrants who perished days later) - scary! But he made me do it. And I did.

He invited me to parties, took me to receptions (many of which we crashed without my knowledge until it was exposed) He gave me adventure. Most importantly, he introduced me to his friends - many of whom have become good friends as well. A couple of whom who have become my very best friends.

Crazy Jan has this ability to bring people together and to make everything a fun experience. I was honoured to be present at his wedding a while ago and recently to get a chance to hold their beautiful new baby Nele.

His wife Tania is an amazing woman. She is kind, intelligent, beautiful and funny - it was she who planned this 40th birthday party. She had planned it for a year - and it showed. There were servers bringing gourmet bites all evening, foie gras and onion confit, crevettes salad, Camembert with toasted nuts, marinated anti pasta bites, tiny mousse cups and tarts and petit fours etc - Open bar, DJ, and a really good live band - along with a slide show going all night and featuring over 600 photos of Jan's life - I was tickled when photos of my parties came up - photos of my dog. Like I fit in to the puzzle a bit. Like I was part of someone's life history - not in America, but here in my adopted home country. It meant so much to me because it verified that I have been woven in to at least a small part of Belgium and not lived on the periphery like so many expats do. I think my Dad would be proud of me for that alone.

I have said this before, but it bears saying again. Friends are the most important thing in the world. And I certainly appreciate the friends I have here and back home. Thank you all for being so wonderful.

posted by Brussels Confidential @ 9:39 AM