Stupid
Eggheads is a quiz programme on BBC where a team of 5 seasoned quiz experts go head to head against 5 novices. Price money is £1,000 per match and the money rolls over to the next match if the Eggheads win. Which they usually do.
The Eggheads are 3 men and two women who have all had a measure of success in the world of TV quizzes. The crusty and dorky team members Daphne, Chris and Kevin have won Brain of Britain and Master Mind various times. CJ and Judith hail from more showy and commercial game shows - like 15 to 1 and Who wants to be a millionaire? (Judith did).
About 4 months ago, a team of nerdy university students beat the eggheads after 74 shows and walked away with £75,000. The nerdy team's questions were not all that hard but all it takes is one question that the Eggheads just don't know and their bridges come tumbling down. If I recall correctly, they lost on a question regarding Udon Japanese noodles - I think the Eggheads said Udon was a dumpling. Oh well.
The questions range from the completely inane and easy to the completely bizarre and obscure. Which I guess the producers think is the key to fast moving yet competitive and compelling games.
OK - so last night there was a group of 5 women on to challenge the Eggheads. They were all midwives from some health centre. The team chose their contestant for the Geography round very quickly and lightly. She wanted to go against CJ. She chose to go first. The Question was - The American Islands of Hawaii lie in which Ocean? (really, I swear) The answers to choose from were: Arctic Ocean, Pacific Ocean and Indian Ocean. I am not kidding. That was the question.
The woman actually hemmed and hawed over the answer. Every person in the studio was in amazement that this woman was struggling with the answer. I mean - come ON!! This woman is presumably an educated, middle class Brit who has enough knowledge to assist in child birthing techniques... Hello. Unless someone is from a remote village in the Amazon rain-forest, or completely mentally disposed, illiterate and/or suffering from rabies, anyone from a 3rd grader on up knows where Hawaii is. It's like the coolest thing about US geography and smack in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Look, I don't think many Europeans know much about most US states (just like Americans know shite about European geography - don't argue with me - tell me what countries are now part of the former Yugoslavia???) But Universally - European - and Especially Brits know 5 key things about the USA.
1. That Elvis is alive and well in Memphis and you can see his 'grave' at Graceland, 2. Anything and Everything about 'Vegas'
3. New York City (No idea there's a state called New York though)
4. Disney World is in Florida and Disneyland is in California - they have been to each 16 times - without children
5. The state of Hawaii is a group of Polynesian Islands in the Pacific Ocean put there for Honeymoons
OK - so this complete moron of a woman actually contemplated the Arctic Ocean, but then decided that it 'sounds too cold and Hawaii sounds warm'. WTF??? Then she finally came to her decision - Indian Ocean......
You could hear a pin drop in the studio - The host didn't actually know what to say... You could tell he was ready to say 'it' in his deep game show presenter voice...'Ohh...Sorry June, that's not the right answer, nice try though! We have enjoyed having you on the show, but you are the most stupid pile of dog poo we have ever encountered! Goodbye and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!!'
How stupid can stupid get?? Pretty stupid as it turns out.
posted by Brussels Confidential @ 2:19 PM
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