Update From Idaho
I saw the weirdest thing in my office parking garage this morning. I walked past athe normal row of parked cars in the dimly lit garage - but was startled to see a man sitting int he driver's seat of one car playing a trumpet. Really. The sight was so out of place, I was startled. I guess he's got to find places where he can practice and not bother people - it's just weird that it happens to be in his car in the office parking lot at 7:30 am. Anyway, that weirdness, reminded me to write an update on my Idaho family.Auntie Mary, who used to be the 'normal' one has been visiting Mom for the last two weeks. Each time I called Mom during the visit, Mom begged me to stay on the phone just so she could speak to someonoe sane. Auntie Mary was driving her mental.
Auntie Mary is a curious one. She's outlived 4 previous husbands and is well on her way to badgering the current one to death. Uncle Stan hides in his hobby room most of the time making wooden airplanes to scale from scratch. He was a bomber pilot in the 2nd world war but a man can take only so much. Auntie Mary is almost 85 years old and her brain is short circuiting a bit. She never listens to anyone but she always has a conversation going - with herself. Once, I think she spoke non-stop for 6 hours. Ok - I didn't sit there for 6 hours timing her, but she was talking when I left and talking when I got back and I can't imagine she stopped in between.
She's got a real Idaho accent - she says 'ruff' instead of roof and 'crick' instead of creek. She slaps her thigh at the start of every sentence and sort of screams when she speaks. Driving Mom mental. I guess Mom was expecting it though. What she wasn't expecting is that Auntie Mary had taken up smoking. And pretending no one can tell. She's staying in 'my' room - and sneaking cigarettes in the bathroom. Mom promises to air the place out and give it a good scrub when Auntie Mary leaves.
Uncle Ben and Auntie Bette over in Homedale escaped near-death when their boiler blew up. Friends and neighbours got ailing Uncle Ben out just before the house blew to smithereens and scattered itself over the Snake River Valley. Auntie Bette is like a cat with 9 lives -remember, she's the one who ran over herself in her own car - told you about that a while back. Amazing - she's still got a couple lives left I guess.
We had an update about Auntie Sada who is over 90 and as ornery as ever. She's been in a food fight at the old folks home. But this was not like a funny food fight, it was an old people's, mean-assed, food fight. Apparently Auntie Sada went a step too far and winged her cofee cup at some poor, old Colonel. No one can really figure out what happened and who started it it. But Auntie Sada was punished. I think they held off on her Jello serving for a day or two.
The rest of the clan over there are ok. I suppose many of them will vote for McCain and Palin because they are Republicans - and no matter how horrid the Republican candidates are, they are still republicans through and through. Plus, they don't get too many Arabs (pronounced Ay-RABS) over there and they aren't about to start.
posted by Brussels Confidential @ 1:16 PM
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