Wedding Cake and eat it Too
Over the past few years here I have met many men who are happily cheating on their wives. Of course, before I came to Europe I heard of the stereotypical European man having a mistress. But I have to confess, I didn't really believe this was anything more than an odd occurrence. I was so wrong. It's rife over there. And I think it's getting worse.The thing that really bothers me is this - There are men who cheat on their wives excessively - they have long-term relationships, short-term relationships, one-nighters and afternoon liaisons with other women and are surprised when their wives are upset or angry when they find out about it.
Is this just stupidity or macho self centred ignorance? How could they honestly believe that their partners are going to be OK with this type of behaviour? These men act as if it's not natural to actually live the marriage vows and it's a God-given right to act on desires outside of the marriage. Some even pretend there's a carnal desire out of their control and they have to cheat and lie or else they are depressed and manic. It's unbelievable.
Hey, look - stuff happens. I mean, People fall in love, they err, they stray, they make mistakes. But for crying out loud, they should have some remorse for doing so, or some sympathy for their wives. Better yet, they should do something about it.
There's a small chorus of people I know out there who are screaming - 'she had an affair too!'. So it's OK. It's not OK in my book. Oh, And dudes (you know who you are) she had an affair only because you had one (or more) and she knew it would drive you bonkers - which it did. Most of you even went completely crazy knowing that the tables were turned. Serves you right. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Get used to it.
Better yet, learn from it.
Yeah. Who am I fooling? Men - learn? Right.
Most of these men won't do the right thing - which is to stop cheating - or be honest and separate and/or divorce and carry on legitimately. These men are selfish cowards. They want their cake and they want to eat it too.
I have met many men who are divorced and living in shabby little apartments, drinking in pubs every night, eating out of cardboard and tin-foil packets, slumping around, wishing they could 'pull' a babe for the night. These guys dream of their youth and imagine that every woman dresses in tight skirts and halter tops just for them, they imagine that every pretty receptionist is giving them the 'eye'. They imagine for one moment that they are not pathetic, losers living airless, brown apartments with no pictures on the wall, old Chinese food in the fridge and a musty carpet on the floor.
They imagine what it would be like to not have messed it all up. Trust me.
Don't get me wrong. I do know women cheat as well. Certainly not as much over here though. And I do know that some people are in helpless situations. But most of these cheating men are not.
It's funny, I get to be the cheerleader for the single life all the time. Friends who want something else in their married lives envy the single life. It's not what it's hyped-up to be, believe me. Especially when over 35- the pickin's are slim.
There are nights I get home from a business trip at 2 am because my flight was delayed or a train broke down or something - no one cares that I am late, no one is missing me. No one is worried. There's buying a house: No one to share the risk and decision making with, much less the cost! There's always the dreaded new Year's eve. Won't even go there...
And worst of all, being single, an attractive girl meets men who are cheating on their wives and saying things like, 'I'm married in name only', or 'I am in the marriage matrix and trying to get out', 'we are taking a break', 'I am sort of still married but not really', 'we are practically separated', 'we live separate lives', and my all time favourite 'I'm not really married, I just have a wife'.
So, when the next married guy asks me out - he might as well turn and run. I am having none of it and definitely none of him. I don't do that sort of thing, and no offence, it's just - well, I know I deserve better and so do the wives.
posted by Brussels Confidential @ 11:27 AM
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