Mr. Handsome
Nothing lifts the spirit more than a really fun date. A proper night out - drinks, dinner, dancing and pleasant conversation with an intelligent, successful man.
Thank you Mr. handsome, from the bottom of my heart!
It's been ages since I've had a night like that! (Get yourself an apron and a chicken and meet me in the kitchen next time)...
Dating tips for the men who need the help - you know who you are!!
1. Good grooming is paramount !
2. Intelligent conversation and knowledge of current events is always appreciated
3. Being able to pay for the evening is always a plus.....
4. Expect to dine out that evening - she probably hasn't had a can of soup at home before going out like some people....
5. Do something special - different - inventive or thoughtful and make it sexy at the same time! (champers, chicken, apron - you know)
6. Dance closely and hold her tightly
7. Walk off the excesses of the night with a stroll in the moonlight
8. Make her know how special she is
9. Know where everything is so to speak - come on - you've done it before...
10. Know how she likes her eggs in the morning .....
brought to her in bed of course!
Role over baby
Lately I have had several conversations about gender role reversal. Not so much about career and family stuff, but more about the way men handle relationships and dating. It is a
consensus amongst my friends (males and females - of all
persuasions included) that women are now taking the alpha role and men the submissive role in many instances.
There seem to be more cases of women being the ones to end relationships (do the dumping) or define the next step in the relationship. My friends also agree that men are taking things much more emotionally than ever before.
Not only are men much more clingy and insecure during relationships, they are much more emotionally wrecked after the relationships - often teary and mopey and depressed for far longer than women were.
Many of my friends can either relate or have experienced this phenomenon - dating a guy and having his single and lonely friends interfere, intervene,
criticize and critique the whole relationship - It's as if a bunch of Jewish grandmothers were
schvitzing over the new single woman at a bar
mitzvah. Or like the bickering in a Sorority house on a Sunday morning!
Ridiculous.
Many friends have experienced or know of times when men went off the rails completely after a break-up. What happened to the Cary Grant cool -
ness - when guys just shrugged off breakups and got back in the dating scene right away - garnering snipes from women for being insensitive cads? Not so now. Now there's multiple phone calls all hours of the day and teary confrontations - along with a bunch of hard knocks from the man's single friends who are feeling the sting of the breakup as well. It used to be more typical for the woman to be seen as the emotional
basket case and have spiteful girlfriends protecting their gal pal's honour - not anymore!
Not only did my friends mention a rise in the general emotional responses from men they have known, but a rise in disturbing and often stalker-like behaviour. Several people in my office shared stories of guys who spread vicious rumours about their exes in the dating scene, sent mean text messages and e-mails on a regular basis for months and months. Beverley Hills 90210 all over again!!!
I think this phenomenon worsens with age in this era. When a woman reaches around 40 and is still on the dating scene, they have already been through their ultra emotional 20s and 30s and have resigned themselves to the fact that they may not have children and possibly not get married. Certainly, they don't need the security of a marriage - they are making great money and have good careers. Nice to be married, have a partner, but not a tragedy if it doesn't happen.
However, I think a men start to panic when they are around 40 and not married and/or attached because it scares them to be alone. This used to be a woman's general fear. Not so for professional, successful and resourceful women. I think it used to be a feather in a man's cap to have a wife and kids by a certain age - smacking of a successful masculine provider and protector. I don't think that's the worry for unmarried men around 40 now. I truly think they are emotionally afraid to be by themselves and to really look themselves in the mirror and like what they see. Just my theory!!
Watch out world, me and the gals are going out 'Tie
Chasin'' tonight.
In search of Chicken Paprikash and Someone who looks like me
I'm on the way to Hungary for the first time. It's for work... I am going to solve the 'service issues' in the Budapest branch office....it's a bit of a dreary job...sometimes my mind wanders...
I dream that I am paid to travel the world in search of gourmet delights to taste. I dream that I am magically booked in to 6-star hotels in the world's finest cities and my assignments are to seek the finest examples of the location's culinary treats. I even get to take Bunny Dog on my travels - in fact, it's a requirement (hey it's a dream ok?)!
This mission - should I choose to accept it - AND of course I DO, is to find the best Hungarian Chicken Paprikash made in Budapest. Now, how to go about this? This dish is such a traditional, homemade favourite, it's got to be like beef stew recipes from home. Every mom makes it and everyone thinks their Mom's stew is the best.
I have done some research. There's an elegant restaurant called Marquis de Salade - how cute - manned by 8 chefs from Hungary, Russia and the Caucasus Mountains which sounds definitely worth a visit - and there's a famous restaurant called Central Kavehaz (central coffee-house) opened in 1887 which not only has amazing coffee, but of course, perfectly cooked staples like Paprikash and goulash. I could go to almost any establishment and get some version of Paprikash. But I know I will seek an old, cosy bistro.
I usually follow my instincts - then I go by word of mouth - I ask a local person. There is no way to find the best, tiny, little, mom and pop restaurants and bistros hidden in side streets and alleyways unless you ask. I'm talking about places where mommas - or grannies even - hold court behind huge aga-like cookers stirring steaming pots of somethings yummy and sauteing surprises in huge cast iron pans. No microplane graters and mandolins in these places. Just wise, old women with gnarled knuckles who can really cook and naturally know good food, tight sauces, fresh ingredients and perfect textures. Wise women who can smell when the meat is cooked, know what tastes best together - sages in the kitchen.
My mouth is watering.
Back to reality. I hope to have time to get out and explore - the Budapest office needs some serious help though. A lot of work. Still, a nice adventure and the start of regular visits to a fun place to explore. Perhaps Cutie Pie will come with me on a business trip sometime and we can stay over the weekend - he likes Budapest.
I wonder if I will feel a certain affinity for the country and the people. Being Hungarian by blood myself - I was adopted - will I feel something special? There are so many things adopted people never know (and mostly don't care about) But every so often certain questions do sort of sit in the back of my mind. What did my parents look like? What was their history? Will I feel like I look like everyone else? Will anyone really look like me?
When my father passed away, there were tons of family members around. My Dad had no extended family and all of the relatives were from my Mom's side - Asian Americans - Mostly Japanese Americans and some married to Chinese Americans. My brother and I were both adopted. He is 4 years older than I and he is from Asian decent - Hawaiian(mix of Asian and Portuguese) and Japanese background. We didn't look that odd as a family because My brother looked as if he could easily be my Mother's son and I looked as if I could easily be my father's daughter (As he was German descent). So we meshed somehow. My brother's son Jason carries on the exquisite Asian features he inherited from my brother and deep blue eyes from his mother's side.
I looked around after Dad passed away and I realised. Hey, without Dad, I don't look like anyone in the family anymore. It's a weird feeling. Maybe I will feel an inherent connectivity in Hungary - who knows?
I keep thinking about what Sio said on the phone the other day. She said that everyone who goes to Budapest for the first time calls it Budapest. And after one visit it becomes Buda
pesht - you know, because that's the PROPER way to pronounce it. Perhaps I will call it 'just right'.
Photo above of Zsa Zsa Gabor
