Farewell Chalky
The dog of my favourite chef - Rick Stein- passed away a couple weeks ago. I am upset about it for many reasons. One, that Chalky is the same type of dog as Bunny Dog and the two have very similar characteristics and personalities so I could relate to the sadness of losing his close companion. Chalky is my favourite part of Rick Stein's cooking shows on TV and on his DVDs. Chalky would ride in fishing boats, run along the beach, roll in seaweed, climb the dunes, explore garden and frolic in the sun happily trotting along at Rick's heels. Rick posted a note and the following prose on his website about Chalky and his long, full life - 17 years old. Here's to Chalky.
THERE is sorrow enough in the natural way
From men and women to fill our day;
And when we are certain of sorrow in store,
Why do we always arrange for more?
Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware
Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.
Rudyard Kipling
The Best Line Ever
Masterchef is starting off splendidly!
I know it will be a great competition - there's an out-take from the series where Gregg Wallace is trying some soup made by a contestant.
He says
'My taste buds have been assaulted.' And then directly to the contestant he says 'Have you ever tasted Orange and Potato together in your life?' 'Why do it here?'
I lost it - I thought it was so funny!
OK - Too busy for a whole entry today. Making business trip plans, London, Dublin and Budapest!
Masterchef 2007
I can't contain my excitement. The new series of Masterchef Goes Large on BBC starts this evening! 6 contestants each weeknight for 3 weeks - compete in a cooking contest to see who will be chosen Masterchef 2007.
The 6 contestants are thrown in to kitchens right away to make a dish using surprise ingredients provided to them. They may use as many or as few ingredients as they choose. Then the judges will narrow the group down to 3 based on the strength and skill demonstrated in the first test. The remaining 3 will be sent to an established restaurant to cook during a busy lunch service and the head chef will choose who he thinks handled themselves best in the kitchen. After a busy lunch service, the 3 must go back to the Masterchef kitchen and make a 3-course meal of their own design in an hour and half and try to wow the judges. The judges then choose who wins that round and moves on the finals rounds.
The judges. Two nuts - One called John Torode - an Aussie chef who came to London - Like all Aussies do - to get - a life/culture/manners/education - and to make a shedload of money - he's got a steak place at Smithfield Market which is supposed to be pretty good. And Gregg Wallace - a cockney-tongued, fruit and veg seller who's been supplying the best quality produce to the poshest restaurants in London for ages. Neither of them have an ounce of style or real taste - but hey, they are the ones who choose the Masterchef and it's kind of funny to see their reactions to things they have never come across. It's funny to see them pooh pooh classic French techniques they have just never encountered.
Alas, Masterchef will always remain a popularity contest thinly disguised as a cooking contest. Jon and Gregg basically chose their favourites with no consistency in the way the contestants are picked - who cares - it's food and flubs for weeks to come!
Saturday night I made a spectacular meal for some friends who came to dinner. This will sound a little like a snotty restaurant in London - but here goes - Endive stuffed with pepper cheese and topped with roasted pine nuts and roasted red pepper as appetisers. Orange braised lamb shanks with haricot vert and orzo and wild mushrooms for mains, and a classic chocolate mocha tarte for dessert. Was a huge hit if I do say so myself.
Bring on the pots and pans and sauté away!
Justifiable Homicide
You know when you're REALLY tired and on the verge of getting the flu and you need to sleep like Rip van Winkle? You know when you are achy and so tired your head hurts and you just want to get in to your jammies and hide under the covers? Now, imagine that you are this tired and just about anything that could keep you awake does keep you awake.
Last night EVERYTHING, EVERYONE and EVERY animal conspired against me and I could not sleep a wink!!
I couldn't scream at the wind howling at gusts of up to 120 k/hour, the wind couldn't hear me. I couldn't punch back at the pounding rain hitting my drainpipes in violent spurts and spatters because it was too big a force - and come on - really.... (I did move the recycling bin because raindrops on the plastic were driving me batty after a while). I couldn't help but hear the obese cat on the neighbour's porch wheezing, gagging and conjuring up a hairball at 3 am over the screaming wind and rain.
I had Bunny Dog who decided there was no place on earth he would rather be than crawling all over me on the bed last night. I attempted to block out all sounds and irritating distractions which made me toss and turn. Bunny Dog decided to growl at me each time I tossed and to feign biting me when I turned. Yeah, that makes for a peaceful resting place. Each time I ejected him from the bed and pointed at his own - perfectly fine - dog bed a few feet away, he ignored me and hopped back on the bed. At one point he growled at me because I was using too much of the pillow and he had found a nice nesting place at the head of the bed.
I usually don't let Bunny dog get away with behaviour like this - I really don't. I do discipline that spoiled animal - I do. But I was tired and weary and knew that sleep would elude me last night - I wasn't thinking straight.
Even if all of those distractions were not present, I wouldn't have slept. There was an all-powerful energy too large for even Hercules to conquer. That of Cutie Pie's snoring.
Imagine lying there with a jackhammer, a bulldozer, a lawn-mower, a mosquito near your ear, a wheezing, gurgling Mr. Magoo... tormenting you. This snoring is unlike snoring joked about in comics and TV sitcoms - this is evil snoring. This is the kind of noise which makes deviated septum seem like hangnails. This noise is like an exorcist, a poltergeist, an unstoppable satanic, life-blood-sucking torture.
This is the type of snoring that would allow me to get off Scott free in a court of law because the judge and jury would immediately agree that putting an end to Cutie Pie and his snoring would constitute justifiable homicide.
Cutie Pie (whose name should be changed to Moon Pie - for so many reasons) and Bunny Dog BEWARE. I will take no prisoners the next night you keep me awake!
I will however, take the best feather comforter and go sleep on the guest bed in the loft. Now,.... why didn't I think of that last night???
Give good wing
My California cousins all came to DC and cooked some of our old family specialities around the time that my father passed away in November. Since all of my relatives from Mom's side are Japanese Americans and Chinese Americans, there are a few dishes with far eastern flair. Here's one for the best chicken wings ever.
Magical Chicken Wings
4 pound chicken wings
1 cup hoisin sauce
¾ cup plum sauce
2 teaspoons grated or finely minced lime zest
1/3 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
1/3 cup fish sauce
¼ dry sherry
1 tablespoon Asian chile sauce
½ cup chopped fresh cilantro
10 cloves garlic, finely minced
Advance Preparation:
Cut off tips of the chicken wings. Cut each in half at the joint. In a bowl large enough to hold the wings, combine all of the remaining ingredients. Add wings, mix thoroughly, and marinate in the refrigerator for 8 hours.
Last Minute Cooking:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Line a shallow baking pan with foil. Coat a wire rack with cooking spray and place the rack in the baking pan. Drain the chicken and reserve the marinade. Arrange the wings on the rack and roast for 30 minutes. Baste the wings with the reserved marinade, turn them, and baste again. Continue roasting until the wings turn a mahogany color, another 20 to 30 minutes. Serve hot or at room temp
Special note - Thanks for wearing the tie Bunny
Groove Report
Let me preface this report by saying we had too many Mai Tais and never ate dinner. The results are below
1. Please refrain from removing all clothes at the bar or on the dance floor tonight
No problems here2. Please refrain from picking up bands, whole groups of office mates, circus performers, taxi drivers, chefs, Italians, and Rugby teams - No, wait, scratch that - Rugby teams are OK. Yum ee.
She Met up with an Italian - but nothing happened...as far as I know...3. Before kissing, please, at least, find out the guy's name.
YA YA4. Getting your groove back doesn't necessarily require a body lock with a man in his early 20's (doesn't hurt though)
Would have been so good5. The VP Of Groove Assistance is allowed to kiss her cutie pie if she should happen to run in to him over the course of the evening
Mission Accomplished - Cutie Pie was really sexy that night6. Shooters are a required element of the evening - Mission not accomplished without shooters (Sex on the beach, Kamikaze, Sweet Tart, Lemon Drops, Tequila etc.)
We didn't have shooters. I think the Mai Tais made up for it though. You know, Mai Tais are Trader Vic's (Polynesian-style restaurant chain) contribution to the world. They pack a pretty severe wallop. Double vision.7.Under no circumstances are we to visit Fritland
We were there by 11 PM. Lara had a cone of frites with a slop of sauce Andalouse (I held out for a food free evening though - very unwise)8. Try something new - another required element of the Groove Mission
We went dancing in a Salvadoran restaurant - it was really fun. A bit on the seedy side, but totally different and interesting.
Hey, it was an OK night - but I don't think we lit the world on fire - could have been the Mai Tai's....
Shake Your Groove Thing Baby
Watch out Brussels! The lovely Lara and I are going out on the town tonight.
She's on a mission. She needs to shake out a few cobwebs, get the lead out, or more specifically, Lara needs to get her groove back. And there's no better support for gettin' a groove back than yours truly!(me). Or so I think. I will be Vice President in charge of Groove Assistance tonight.
My suggestion is that we start out at PP cafe for happy hour - two for one cocktails - like Mai Tais and Mint daiquiris. Yum. Lara has a hankering for ribs tonight so it's off to Ardeo for finger-licking good ribs. After that, who knows?
It's a night for short skirts, cute tops and shaking your booty wearing sexy high boots.
If only I wasn't having a kind of bad hair day.... I caught a glimpse of my hair when I was riding the metro this morning and I kept hearing the line from a B52's song that goes 'What's that on your head? A wig!!' Anyway - I am having issues with my hair today. It's doing exactly opposite of what I want it to. It's sorta wavy around my head, but becomes dead straight on the longer parts - weird. Oh well, maybe the electric shock look will dissipate throughout the day.
Ok - so since I am Vice President in charge of Groove assistance on Lara's groove mission tonight - I do need to set out some rules and goals.
1. Please refrain from removing all clothes at the bar or on the dance floor tonight
2. Please refrain from picking up bands, whole groups of office mates, circus performers, taxi drivers, chefs, Italians, and Rugby teams - No, wait, scratch that - Rugby teams are ok. Yum ee.
3. Before kissing, please, at least, find out the guy's name.
4. Getting your groove back doesn't necessarily require a body lock with a man in his early 20's (doesn't hurt though)
5. The VP Of Groove Assistance is allowed to kiss her cutie pie if she should happen to run in to him over the course of the evening
6. Shooters are a required element of the evening - Mission not accomplished without shooters (Sex on the beach, Kamikaze, Sweet Tart, Lemon Drops, Tequila etc.)
7.Under no circumstances are we to visit Fritland
8. Try something new - another required element of the Groove Mission
OK - Monday I will report on our Mission and it's success
Have a groovy weekend yourself
Slave - Part II
My slave is back. He keeps calling to ask if he can clean my house, run errands, do my shopping, and basically be bossed around by me. The offer is so tempting. If it were not for the fact that I am not interested in him AT ALL - I would hop right on that offer and get him working like Spartacus (before Spartacus got all rebellious). But because I am not interested in him and because I know it would totally turn him on to be ordered and kicked a round a bit by me - I won't do it. It grosses me out. Eeew.
On Halloween, a few friends came over and we went to a neighbour's party. The party was pretty basic save the odd dominatrix (or whatever they are called) and her guy on a leash. When the dancing started, her 'dog' got on the floor and she went around asking all the women to take a turn at whipping him. Marie Antoinette and several odd witches gave it a try. I was tempted just for the joke of it. But my cutie pie was there - so I thought better of it. (Yes, I do have a cutie pie..and have been pretty well happily occupied with him for 5 months now).
I just don't get the slave, victim, thing. I don't think I will ever understand what turns people on about that stuff. Being devoted to whims of other people seems so futile. Luckily for me, my cutie pie doesn't ever do anything unless you ask 45 times. So, there's no chance of me being grossed out by his desire to be my slave. (Although wouldn't mind seeing him in a Toga and peeling grapes for me).
I know what some of you are thinking. Get the slave over and get all those stupid projects done - clean the downstairs closet, sort out the boxes in the attic, clean the skylight windows, re-plant those window boxes, re-paint the main bedroom, fix the door handle to the downstairs loo, etc etc. But you know, I can't do that. He would get too attached. He would be so aroused that he might want to stick around and demonstrate his secondary addiction - a foot fetish. I know Let's just stop here. Plus, it just grosses me out when he calls and in this low, growly voice (which he thinks is sexy) and asks 'What can I do for you today? You need me to run errands for you? Clean your floors? anything?'. EEEEEW.
No thanks Laundryitus. Thanks for the offer Spick and Spanicus. See ya later DoanythingIwantipus. Hasta la vista Scrubmytoileticus.
I am happy with my cutie pie - 'Lieonthecouch-donothingatallicus'.
Say 'Cheese'
Well, it's that time again. January/February. Time to get my work permit renewed and then take it over to my commune.
Before I negotiate the maze of bureaucracy in the Belgian system, I have to have more of those dreadful passport photos taken. Each office I have to visit in the journey to renewed work permits and residency status requires multiple passport photos.
I am convinced that I am allergic to the air in January and February and the allergy manifests itself by me suffering huge bags and dark circles under my eyes. One eye is always a bit wonky in the pictures, no matter what time I have them taken. As if one eye is still asleep in bed. My hair looks good and bad in alternating years. And it never fails - I waste at least €5 - €10 on photos where my eyes are closed, I am looking down, slipping off the little booth stool and therefore blurry or just plain fugly looking. One year I swear my left nostril showed up 3 times larger than the right and I had to squat on the stool and wriggle over to catch the light from the florescent bulb just the right way to make my nostrils look evenly-sized.
There are good passport photo booths and bad ones. The good ones are in unsavoury places like metro stairwells and outside downtown 'video' arcades where junkies and ho's prepare their daily toilettes. The bad ones are where you really need them, in the commune, in the post office, in the registry office, at the license approval and official 'Stamp Anything That Moves' department - and of course at the police station. The ones where you really need them are usually jammed, faulty, triple the price and they only take exact change when they are working.
There's a requirement of 3 passport photos with every application for my commune residence card renewal. Of course, they use one of them on the card itself. What happens to the rest? I did catch a glimpse of my file last time I was there - an oversight on the part of the (usually secretive, long lunch taking and multiple coffee-break taking worker) - with dozens of my old photos floating around in it - not used for anything. They have to be getting kick-backs from the Photo machine owners - it's a great scam.
Once you get all the right paperwork delivered to the right window in the right building by the right time, you are good to go. Things pretty much take care of themselves. Of course, it takes two seconds to stamp the new date on it and about 5 seconds to staple the new picture on (which could be done there on the spot) - but it usually takes 2-3 weeks to receive a notice in the mail saying my residence card is ready for pick up.
All of this has to be taken in stride. 2 trips to the Ministere de la region de Bruxelles for my work permit and 3 trips to the commune where I live. Just the way life is in Brussels - and I love it.
Say 'cheese'
Food TV Season
When I was home in the states for Christmas, I watched the Food Network non-stop. The Food network drives me insane because they have this cast of regulars - like 10 chefs who do cooking shows which they broadcast over and over again ad nauseam. Only a few of them are what I consider to be excellent cooks - a couple of them are OK cooks, but have egos so big who cares if they can cook at all?
I will say this. Giada di Laurentiis is not such a hot cook. Yes, she's a little hot tamale with low cut, Spandex tops, which make men drool and slobber, but she is not really worthy of 3 prime time Food Network programmes. She also has the most annoying habit of speaking in the most American accent ever, then pronouncing every Italian word with an overdone Italian accent. 'I'm gonna put some butter in here and then saute the 'PINCHETTTTAAAA' with olive oil. Then I'll toss it around with the 'SPAHHH GITTTI' and grate a bunch of 'PARME SHAAANNOOO REGGGI AAANNO' over the top'. Ugh. She's revolting. And has anyone noticed that her arms are too short for her body??? Just me I guess.
Don't get me started on Mario Batali. Fat-arsed egomaniac. Drunken slob. Pretty darned good chef, but what an a-hole!!
Who ever thought Paula Dean would be a hit? Just how many recipes do you know require crushed Ritz crackers and a package of Jell-O custard mix? Now that she's on 6 times a day - 'A whole bunch y'all!! And is there anyone more sexually suggestive than Paula when she's cooking up her braised Oxtail? (or anything) 'Y'all want a taste of mah tail? Hee hee! Y'all shore do I know!!' Yeesh! And that husband of hers - looks like the Uncle guy from Dukes of Hazzard!
I like Michael Chiarello. Easy entertaining - he has really good ideas for parties and he's a normal guy. And not too tough on the eyes either. He can cook in my kitchen any day.
Tyler Florence (Shown Above) - scrumptious. Truly. I like his Ultimate series. Where he'll make everyday things but with the very best ingredients and using the coolest techniques. Like Spaghetti and meatballs - they looked so good, I ran downstairs and started to make them myself - then changed my mind and ordered them from the local Italian restaurant for dinner. Tyler is so manly in the kitchen. He's deliberate and fast and un-fussy. OK - he can eat crackers in my bed.
Barefoot Contessa - Ina Garten - good cook. Super annoying giggle when company arrives to eat the food. So annoying.
Bobby Flay - so so. I do like his food and his cooking style, but he is just a bit too smarmy for me - I get the impression he's a real slimy guy off camera. Don't know why I think that, I just do. He also seems like he's bored to death with the food network routine and needs a new challenge. His appearances on Iron Chef America are ridiculous - And since the American version is all scripted and rehearsed, it's a waste of time anyway...
OK - don't be surprised. I know her chirpy voice and super effort at trying to be up-beat and perky is frustrating - but Rachel Ray can cook. She can really cook. She also has a million good tips on making your life more conducive to everyday cooking. I like her tips on cleaning and preparing veg and herbs and storing them. I like her tips on what to have on hand in the pantry, freezer and fridge. I even like her garbage bowl on the counter. You can tell that her ideas come from the fact that she really cooks at home and eats at home. She does stuff we can all do. No fancy ingredients, no over-the-top methods. Just good plain ideas on how to fancy-up regular food and feed families and friends with ease, style and grace. And a bit of EVOO. (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
Ahh. Soon the BBC will have their winter foodie shows - lucky me - I can start complaining about those chefs!
Van de Pianospeler
From a good friend - Enjoy
Innige streling
Wit en Zwart slapen zachtjes naast mekaar,
mijn speelse streling maakt hen één voor één wakker...
terwijl mijn ogen zich glimlachend sluiten,
opent zich zichtbaar mijn verlangde ziel.
Zoete klanken dansen over de snaren,
wandelen elegant over de blinkend zwarte rand,
glijden langs de ranke poten naar de Aarde,
die mij hartstochtelijk naar zich toetrekt..
De Aarde wil mij niet lossen,
ik zal mijn Aarde niet lossen,
en toch zweef ik een beetje...
terwijl ik mijn vleugel innig streel....
(Raffamadeus)
